小作文考官范文

1

The chart compares average figures for temperature and precipitation over the course of a calendar year in Kolkata.【一句话改写topic，rainfall改写成了precipitation】

It is noticeable that monthly figures for precipitation in Kolkata vary considerably, whereas monthly temperatures remain relatively stable. Rainfall is highest from July to August, while temperatures are highest in April and May.【summary概括整体重要信息】

Between the months of January and May, average temperatures in Kolkata rise from their lowest point at around 20°C to a peak of just over 30°C. Average rainfall in the city also rises over the same period, from approximately 20mm of rain in January to 100mm in May.【1-5月视为一个阶段，同一描述。】

While temperatures stay roughly the same for the next four months, the amount of rainfall more than doubles between May and June. Figures for precipitation remain above 250mm from June to September, peaking at around 330mm in July. The final three months of the year see a dramatic fall in precipitation, to a low of about 10mm in December, and a steady drop in temperatures back to the January average.【后面几个月变化较大，重点描述】

[Words: 169]

2

The table compares the percentages of people who had different preferences for mobile phone functions in 2006, 2008 and 2010.【Introduction改写问题，只不过把年份加上了】

Throughout the period, it is shown that people mainly used their mobile phones to make calls; meanwhile, the popularity of searching the Internet and recording videos increased significantly.【注意！不要写图表没有的结论，只需要描述图表即可】

In 2006, all people used their phones to make calls. Moreover, 73% of people liked to send and receive text messages and 66% of mobile phone users took photos. However, nobody made use of the functions such as searching the Internet and recording videos.【细节段落一，重点描述了起始年份的信息】

In the following 4 years, there was little change in the figures for the top three popular features. Nevertheless, there was a dramatic growth in the users who played games and music, the percentages more or less doubled, from 17% and 12% in 2006 to 41% and 26% in 2010. In addition, it is noticeable that the proportion of people who searched the Internet and recorded videos on the mobile phones had jumped to 73% and 35% respectively by 2010.【描述了2006年之后的整体趋势，以及2010年的最终数据】

[Words: 172]

3

The line graph illustrates the amount of fast food consumed by teenagers in Australia between 1975 and 2000, a period of 25 years. Overall, the consumption of fish and chips declined over the period, whereas the amount of pizza and hamburgers that were eaten increased.【Introduction改写topic以及summary合并成了一段】

In 1975, the most popular fast food with Australian teenagers was fish and chips, being eaten 100 times a year. This was far higher than Pizza and hamburgers, which were consumed approximately 5 times a year. However, apart from a brief rise again from 1980 to 1985, the consumption of fish and chips gradually declined over the 25 year timescale to finish at just under 40 times per year.【对比段落1，很明显Fish&chips趋势与另外两个相反】

In sharp contrast to this, teenagers ate the other two fast foods at much higher levels. Pizza consumption increased gradually until it overtook the consumption of fish and chips in 1990. It then leveled off from 1995 to 2000. The biggest rise was seen in hamburgers, increasing sharply throughout the 1970’s and 1980’s, exceeding fish and chips consumption in 1985. It finished at the same level that fish and chips began, with consumption at 100 times a year.【对比段落2，Pizza & Hamburger 的趋势在上升，最后达到巅峰】

[Words: 191]

4

The map shows two potential locations (S1 and S2) for a new supermarket in a town called Garlsdon.【题目中 two possible sites 改写成了 two potential locations】

The main difference between the two sites is that S1 is outside the town, whereas S2 is in the town centre. The sites can also be compared in terms of access by road or rail, and their positions relative to three smaller towns.【整体描述地图的上面的信息】

Looking at the information in more detail, S1 is in the countryside to the north west of Garlsdon, but it is close to the residential area of the town. S2 is also close to the housing area, which surrounds the town centre.【具体信息1，相比于分别描述S1和S2，使用对比的方式更加凸显区别】

There are main roads from Hindon, Bransdon and Cransdon to Garlsdon town centre, but this is a no traffic zone, so there would be no access to S2 by car. By contrast, S1 lies on the main road to Hindon, but it would be more difficult to reach from Bransdon and Cransdon. Both supermarket sites are close to the railway that runs through Garlsdon from Hindon to Cransdon.【细节2，还是对比描述，分别说两个地方的不同】

[Words: 171]

5

The diagram illustrates the basic principles of hydroelectric power. The process requires the construction of a large dam connected to a powerhouse. The dam creates a large reservoir and the powerhouse is where the electricity is generated.【Topic改写以及整体summary介绍合成一段】

First of all, water trapped in the reservoir behind the dam is forced through an intake. It then flows into a narrow chamber called a penstock, where the resulting high pressure turns a turbine. The turbine is connected to a generator in the powerhouse above, and this is where the movement of the turbine is converted into electricity. The resulting electricity leaves the powerhouse via cables that carry it over long distances to where it can be used.【发电机之前的流程】

It is interesting to note that a hydroelectric dam creates no harmful byproducts and relies entirely on natural forces to produce electricity. After the turbine stage, water flows out through a second channel and into a river. The process is renewable, thanks to the water cycle in nature.【以发电机为重要节点，分成了两段】

[Words: 163]

6

The pie charts illustrate the primary reasons that people came to and left the UK in 2007.【改写题目，避免使用重复单词】

At first glance it is clear that the main factor influencing this decision was employment. Having a definite job accounted for 30 per cent of immigration to the UK, and this figure was very similar for emigration, at 29%. A large number of people, 22%, also emigrated because they were looking for a job, though the proportion of people leaving the UK for this purpose was noticeably lower at less than a fifth. Another major factor influencing a move to the UK was for formal study, with over a quarter of people immigrating for this reason. However, interestingly, only a small minority, 4%, left for this.【按照分类对比，本段写的是study，job类】

The proportions of those moving to join a family member were quite similar for immigration and emigration, at 15% and 13% respectively. Although a significant number of people (32%) gave‘other‘ reasons or did not give a reason why they emigrated, this accounted for only 17% with regards to immigration.【分类对比，剩下的是other，family】

[Words: 173]